This was back before Soto discovered tweezers.
If there’s one thing that Cubs fans love, it’s overpaying for bad beer. If there’s a backup thing that Cubs fans love, it’s arguing about which backup catcher should be on the roster. From Paul Bako to Henry Blanco to Koyie Hill, the Cubs have had some amazing ones. Some of those have had some weird-good stretches. Remember when Koyie Hill was sort of good for a while? Or when Henry Blanco couldn’t stop hitting doubles? Only Geovany Soto, however, was second-best-bad-enough to spell the starting catcher on The Best Bad Cubs Team of My Time. When Soto was good, he was very, very good. But when he was bad, he was awful.
The Cubs selected Soto in the 11th round of the draft way back in 2001. Soto’s minor league numbers were mediocre at best until suddenly, in 2007, he posted a .353/.424/.652 slash line with 26 home runs and 109 RBIs in only 110 games. The 2007 Cubs had trotted out Michael Barrett, Rob Bowen, Henry Blanco, and Jason Kendall for the majority of the year, so when Soto came up in September and actually hit and (mostly) caught the damn ball, he earned a starting spot on the playoff roster. Soto started 2 of the 3 playoff games (all losses, by the way), going 1-6 with a home run, 2 RBIs, and 2 walks. He was basically the best Cub player in the 2007 playoffs. Sigh.
Soto was the starting catcher in 2008, and he rewarded the Cubs with 23 home runs, 86 RBIs, a 119 OPS+, an All-Star appearance, and a Rookie of the Year trophy, autographed by Thomas Ian Nicholas. Probably. He followed it up with a bad, 80-OPS+ 2009 season. He was good again in 2010, though oft-injured, as he hit 17 home runs and drove in 53 on his way to a 135 OPS+. He only played 105 games, just two years after appearing in 141 in his ROY season.
And that was the last we saw of good Soto. He had a completely forgettable 2011 season before getting off to an awful start in 2012. At the trade deadline last year, while everyone was praying that Ryan Dempster would either be traded or fall down a bottomless well, Soto was quietly traded to the Texas Rangers in exchange for Jacob Brigham, who isn’t good.
In parts of nine(!) years, Soto has posted a slash line of .246/.334/.769. But for his two “full” seasons with the Cubs in 2008 and 2010, he hasn’t had an OPS+ over 100 in his career. He’s been so bad with Texas, the Rangers better hope that “Cash” guy they also got in the trade develops into a perennial All-Star.
Greatest Cub Moment: Out of respect for Ted Lilly’s dying career, I’m not going to bring up Soto’s 2-run homer in Game Two of the 2007 NLDS that give the Cubs their penultimate playoff lead. Except right there, when I brought it up. Instead, I’ll go with June 30, 2011. Matt Cain and the Giants were in Wrigley Field to take on Carlos Zambrano (NEVER FORGET) and the Cubs. With Carlos on the mound, Koyie Hill got the start. Guys, remember Blake DeWitt? He started in left field. Just wanted to bring that up. Cain was brilliant, pitching 7 innings of shutout baseball. Zambrano didn’t make it out of the second, but the bullpen was brilliant, not allowing a single Giant run through the 9th inning. The Giants held a 1-0 lead into the bottom of the 9th, when Aramis Ramirez took local boob Brian Wilson deep to tie the game. John Grabow, being terrible, allowed a solo home run to Pablo Sandoval in the 13th inning that gave the Giants a 2-1 lead. In the bottom of the 13th, Ramon Ramirez got two quick outs before allowing a double to Jeff Baker and a game-tying single to Darwin Barney. The Giants intentionally walked Starlin Castro, and someone woke Mike Quade long enough to have him pinch hit Soto for Grabow. Soto worked a full count before yanking a home run to left for a walkoff 5-2 Cub win.
Worst Moment as a Human: From Rookie of the Year just five years ago, to backup to notorious shithead A.J. Pierzynski. There’s nothing sadder than being a backup catcher, except for maybe having impeccably-groomed eyebrows behind a mulleted shithead.
